St. Patrick’s Day Jokes For the Irish-at-Heart

st pattys smiles St. Patrick’s Day is this week and many people already celebrated over the weekend. This is the day when the Irish and the Irish-at-heart, wander around in all manner of green clothing. Some even go so far as to turning their hair green for the event.

In the mid-400’s, St. Patrick was captured in Wales or Scotland or some other area outside of Ireland. He was taken to Ireland as a slave. He escaped about six years later and returned home. Eventually, he decided to return to Ireland as a missionary.

Nevertheless it’s a good day to wear green, tell jokes and eat. Here are a few jokes to help you enjoy this special day!

Big Rock

An Irishman, by the name of O’Malley proposed to his girl on St. Patrick’s Day.  He gave her a ring with a synthetic diamond.  The excited young lass showed it to her father, a jeweler.  He took one look at it and saw it wasn’t real.

The young lass on learning it wasn’t real returned to her future husband. She protested vehemently about his cheapness.

‘It was in honor of St. Patrick’s Day, ‘he smiled.

‘I gave you a sham rock.’

Politician and Honest Man

Reilly is walking through a graveyard when he comes across a headstone with the inscription “Here lies a politician and an honest man.”

‘Faith now,’ exclaims Reilly, ‘I wonder how they got the two of them in one grave.

Fixed that Barking Dog

‘O’Toole and his wife are in bed one night and they hear the neighbor’s dog is barking its head off in the garden. Somewhat disturbed by the noise, O’Toole explodes, ‘Botheration and that!’ and storms off downstairs.

He comes back upstairs five minutes later and his wife asks, ‘What did you do, O’Toole?’

O’Toole replies with a wide grin, ‘I’ve put the dog in our garden so I did, now let’s see how they like it.’ Best Irish Jokes

Dead Donkey

Finnegan sells Michael a donkey, some weeks later they met in a pub in Killarney and Michael says, ‘Hey, Finnegan, that donkey you sold me went and died.’

Finnegan just sips his Guinness slowly and retorts, ‘Bejabbers, Michael, it never done that on me.’

Two Losses

Murphy lost a hundred dollars on the Melbourne Cup, a famous Australian horserace. He also lost another hundred on the television replay.

Good Shot

Kieran O’Connor always slept with his gun under his pillow. Hearing a noise at the foot of the bed, he shot off his big toe.

‘Thank the Lord I wasn’t sleeping at the other end of the bed,’ Kieran said to his friends in Donegal’s pub. ‘I would have blown my head off.’

Not Guilty

O’Gara was arrested and sent for trial for armed bank robbery.

After due deliberation, the jury foreman stood up and announced, ‘Not guilty.’

‘That’s grand,’ shouted O’Gara, ‘Does that mean I get to keep the money?’


We at Columbia Orthodontics want to wish you and your family a Happy St. Patricks Day!