Continue Laughing

Last week was Global Belly Laugh Day. Here are some more jokes to make you smile.

• How do you make a tissue dance?    You put a little boogie in it.

• Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, “Why the long face?”

• A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, get out of here! We don’t serve mushrooms here”. Mushroom says, “why not? I’m a fungai!”

• I never make mistakes…I thought I did once; but I was wrong.

• What did the little fish say when he swam into a wall?             DAM!

• What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer.

• What do you call cheese that’s not yours?     It’s nacho cheese.

• What do you get when you put a candle in a suit of armor?    A knight light.

• Have you heard about corduroy pillows?!       They’re making headlines!

• There were two peanuts walking down a dark alley, one was assaulted.

• What do you call a sleepwalking nun…    A roamin’ Catholic.

• Bacon and eggs walk into a bar and order a beer, the bartender says sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.

• A guy walks into a bar with a set of jumper cables…the bartender says, buddy, I’ll serve you as long as you don’t start anything.

• Two cows are sitting in a field, and one says to the other, “so, how about that mad cow disease? Scary stuff, right?” To which to other replies, “terrifying. But what do I care? I’m a helicopter.”

• How does Jesus make tea????     Hebrews it.

• What did the farmer say when he couldn’t find his tractor?   “Where’s my Tractor?!”

• Have you heard about the duck that was arrested for dealing?    He was selling “quack”.

• If you’re American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?      European!